Redefining a Label
A few weeks ago, my new disabled parking permit arrived. Up until recently, I had adamantly resisted it. I didn’t want the stigma of being officially disabled or the feeling of giving in to the whims of my Parkinson’s. I had always associated the blue sign hanging from the rearview mirror with the elderly and the incapacitated. My parents got one when they reached their 90s and needed walkers. I avoided it despite my husband’s many urgings.
Driving my resistance was the symbolism of the permit. It felt like another reminder that Parkinson’s is still with me. In my mind, it was akin to a giant billboard advertising my disability. I was struggling to find a way to embrace having a permit, without feeling like I was giving in to Parkinson’s. I take pride in my commitment to not let Parkinson’s define me. I exercise daily and am fiercely independent, both of which have contributed to my quality of life. I worried the permit would change my self-perception.
There was something about letting the permit define me that didn’t feel right. It’s easy to let external “labels” dictate how I feel about myself and my condition. It was appropriate not to get the permit earlier in my diagnosis when I had fewer symptoms and I was still reeling in denial and the unknown. As my condition has matured, so has my attitude. My mindset is much more positive and stable as I have witnessed a very slow and gradual pace of progression and see the benefits of living an active and vibrant life. I am optimistic about my future, while remaining in the present.
Having lived with Parkinson’s for 14 years, I know that self-care is paramount to living a quality of life and minimizing symptoms. I got over the stigma and shame I felt earlier in my diagnosis. I see the permit as something I deserved and that it would actually help me to be more independent. Eventually, I willed myself to fill out the form and submit to the DMV. When I received the iconic blue permit, I placed it in the glove compartment of our car. It’s already been quite useful in my day to day life in the summer when we live outside of the city. I appreciate it when I need it and also when I don’t. But it’s nice to know it’s there.
About Miriam
I share my personal stories to offer a glimpse into what it is like to live with Young Onset Parkinson’s, revealing honest and intimate reflections. Hearing other people’s stories can be a lifeline for many of us living with this neurodegenerative disease. I hope to inspire and educate people living with Parkinson’s and to create community through shared experiences.